No?
Just me? ;)
I hope some of you do this too.
I've been thinking about it a lot lately.
I was thinking about this before a package showed up on my doorstep yesterday from my very first doula client from 15 years ago. A care package to let me know she was thinking about me in my grief.
15 years ago, I had a 2 year old son. My youngest son didn't even exist on this earth yet. So much life has happened in 15 years. And yet, had I not had my first son, taken the childbirth class I took, hired the doula I hired who empowered me to see something in me I couldn't see...had none of that happened, I would never have taken a doula training, I would never have met this couple, I would never have shared three births with them, they would never have helped me refinance a house and purchase two others, and that package would never have showed up on my door with the most lovely card that said the exact words I needed to hear in that moment.
And if I had never hired that doula, and become empowered, and done that doula training and had I never gone to that birth, I may never have fallen in love with the birth world the way I did. I likely would have never trained as a childbirth educator and gone on to teach childbirth classes at a hospital where I met my husband who was my rock during both my parents' deaths. I'm not sure how I would have handled either of those deaths without him. Not to mention, I love him and can't imagine my life without him. Period.
And had I not become a doula, I would have not met one of my friends...and likely may not have maintained such a close friendship with another friend....because we were all doulas together. Those two friends spent the night with me in my dad's apartment the night before he died. Those are true friends. And the other people who offered to spend the night with me were also people I met through serendipitous ways. I was surrounded by love and support throughout my dad's dying process by so many people that I met through so many different ways.
Had I not had the doula I had who empowered me in birth, I may not have felt as empowered as a mother to make the choices I made. I may not have reached out to strangers on the internet on mom boards looking for support. I am still friends with several of those women. And I have never met them face to face. But I would 100% call them friends. We've all been through a lot together and have been a support to one another. All our kids are nearly grown now and we're still friends. I have learned so much from all of them.
I'm not really a believer in coincidences. I believe things happen as they are supposed to. But it's truly fascinating to sit and think about how one decision spawns others. And in making decisions, people come in to one's life, exactly when they are needed.
The day I signed up for a childbirth class in Seattle ultimately resulted in a package showing up on my door yesterday. Had I chosen another class...EVERYTHING in my life could have been different. Of course, if my dad had chosen to take a transfer to Georgia when I was in 7th grade, my life would have been completely different. Every day, we all make decisions, never knowing, or often never even considering, whose life may be affected and what might come from those decisions years and years later.
Life is FASCINATING. And grief makes you think. And ponder life. And loss. And friendship. And love. And death.
And in that...there is beauty in this whole grief thing.
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